Reese Witherspoon is on her way from Legally Blonde to legally single.
The Oscar winner has formally separated from Ryan Phillippe after seven years of marriage, Witherspoon's publicist, Nanci Ryder, confirmed. No divorce papers have been filed, though TMZ.com reports that Witherspoon has contacted Hollywood wives' go-to attorney Robert Kaufman.
Dear Reese and Ryan,
I am sorry to hear that you have separated. However, I think you should rethink this whole situation before you head down the road to divorce. Not because you owe it to yourself or your kids, but rather because you are the most Aryan couple on the face of the planet.
I mean, you are Hitler's DREAM couple! How many people can make that claim?!? Not many, I'll tell you that.
And if a mass murderer's posthumous happiness isn't a good enough reason to save your marriage, then I don't know what is.
Tim Burton’s holiday classic, "A Nightmare Before Christmas," has received a state-of-the-art makeover and will be debuting its new Disney Digital 3D graphics on Friday, Oct. 20.
"It's almost like being on the set -- you can see the texture of the puppets, and see the characters in the foreground and others in the background," said Movie Writer Tim Burton about the digital reworking. "When we were making the movie, we felt in our hearts like our characters were real. When you see it in 3D, everything comes to life and you can literally see through the eye sockets of Jack Skellington."
You know, I had originally intended to blog about Tim directing the new Killers video, but this is infinitely better. I'm so excited about this that I can't even contain myself. The only thing ruining this moment for me is the fact that the journalist referred to it as "A Nightmare Before Christmas" rather than "The Nightmare Before Christmas." And for that...he should die.
Although the presidential election is still two years away, already the political rumor mills are churning with talk of possible Democratic candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.
New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton is considered the early front-runner for the Democratic nomination, should she decide to run, but some Democratic strategists said yesterday that Obama immediately would become one of her principal challengers if he decides to run.
"If he runs and Mrs. Clinton runs, I don't think there's a lot of room for anyone else," said Steve Elmendorf, who was a top adviser to former House minority leader Dick Gephardt of Missouri. "The two of them take up an enormous amount of political space."
And while political outlets everywhere are buzzing with the notion of having a black or female Democratic candidate, Republicans are said to be seriously considering the possibility of supporting a middle aged white man for 2008.
In yet another display of reporting months-old "news," MSN Entertainment has noted that Dan "Harry Potter" Radcliffe will be stretching his acting chops in a stage-production of the play Equus--a part that will require him to be nude in one scene.
"It's a really challenging play, and if I can pull it off... I hope people will stop and think, 'Maybe he can do something other than Harry,'" he said. In "Equus," Radcliffe will play a "troubled young man with a religious-erotic obsession with horses," the magazine reported.
Have you ever SEEN Equus? Well, I have. And I think its a good way for Dan to distance himself from the boy-wizard stigma. Equus, for those of you who don't know, is about a boy who brutally stabs six horses through the eyes and then finds out he is accepted to the Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
It was announced this week the NBC will be cutting 700 jobs in an effort to save money.
NBC Universal will stop scheduling high-priced dramas and comedies during the 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. slot, The Wall Street Journal reported in advance of the announcement Thursday.
Jeff Zucker, chief executive of NBC Universal's television group, said he'll focus on cheaper programming.
Zucker told the newspaper that scripted shows cost too much given the lack of advertiser interest.
So, in other words, expect more mindturds like "Dancing with the Stars" to infiltrate your television. D-List celebrities everywhere, rejoice! I smell a comeback for Jonathon Taylor Thomas.
A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.
Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.
She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.
"She was wearing rubber bathroom shoes at the time and so instead of earthing through her feet it appears the electricity shot out of her backside," a medic told local newspaper, 24 Sata. You know, I would try and make some humorous comment about this, but sometimes the facts are just funnier. I mean, how can I top anus-lightning? I can't do it and I won't try.
Although... something about butt sex being a walk in the park after this would be appropriate.
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - Genetic Savings & Clone, a biotechnology company that sold cloned pets, sent letters to its customers last month informing them it will close at the end of the year because of little demand for cloned cats. The company had recently reduced the price from $50,000 to $32,000.
The letters said the Sausalito company was not accepting new orders for clones because it was "unable to develop the technology to the point that cloning pets is commercially viable."
Wow, science is all over kittens this week. But more disturbing than believing people would be willing to pay 50k for a kitten is the fact that they named their biotech company "Savings & Clone." Get it? Like Savings and Loan? Except its Savings and Clone? Caus they clone stuff.
Brilliance ladies and gentlemen. Sheer brilliance.
This week, America's population will reach the 300 million mark. And people aren't happy.
When the population of the United States passes 300 million, probably some time later this week, there will be no elaborate official celebrations staged by the White House.
What happened to America’s faith in boundless growth?
It is disturbing to think...that openness and growth may no longer be American birthrights. But the problem—and the solution—are not quite as simple as the talk show shouters would have you believe.
No simple solution?? Of course there is! If 'Soylent Green' has taught us anything, its that population control can be both simple and tasty.
ESPN reports that New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle was killed in a crash that saw a single-engine plane collide into a 50-storey condominium tower in Manhattan.
A law enforcement official told The Associated Press that a member of the New York Yankees organization was aboard the plane that crashed into the highrise. Federal Aviation Administration records showed the single-engine plane was registered to Lidle, and FBI reports show that Lidle's passport was found at the scene, according to a report on ESPN.com.
FBI officials also say he was the only person aboard the plane. The city medical examiner's office confirms at least three others have been killed.
A witness described "huge pieces of debris falling" on a Manhattan street from a small plane crashing into a high-rise condo. The New York fire department says the aircraft hit the 20th floor of the building in an East-side neighbourhood. The crash left several apartments in flames.
Lidle, 34, played nine major league seasons with the Yankees, New York Mets, Arizona Diamondbacks, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Oakland Athletics, Toronto Blue Jays, Cincinnati Reds and Philadelphia Phillies. He was traded to the Yankees by the Phillies on July 30 as part of a deal involving outfielder Bobby Abreu.
A study of young college women showed they frequently wore more fashionable or flashier clothing and jewelry when they were ovulating...
"They tend to put on skirts instead of pants, show more skin and generally dress more fashionably," said Martie Haselton, a communication studies and psychology expert at the University of California Los Angeles who led the study.
As a woman, I am here to tell you that this study is completely retarded.
Its not that we're subconsciously dressing to impress when we're feeling fertile, its that we are consciously choosing to dress down when we are bloated with an extra 5 lbs of water weight; doubled over from cramps; overwhelmed by hormonally induced exhaustion; and having those enjoyable bleeding-from-the-beaver days.
And since that span of time (from the onset of PMS to the end of bleeding) lasts about 2 weeks, we're pretty much only left with the time surrounding ovulation to look attractive.
*This message brought to you by ICantBelieveSomeoneActuallyResearchedThisBullshit.org
Biomedical company, Allerca, has successfully engineered hypoallergenic kittens--which they plan to start "manufacturing" for the allergy-sensitive public.
NEW YORK -- A small California biotech company says it has successfully found the Holy Grail of the $35 billion pet industry: a hypoallergenic cat.
At the start of next year, the first kittens -- which the company calls ``lifestyle pets" -- will be delivered to eager owners...If ordered now, it will take 12 to 15 months for delivery of a cat in the United States, 15 to 18 months in Europe. Cost: $4,000.
Two hypoallergenic cats: $8,000 'The Complete Book of Cat Breeding': $11.99 Marvin Gaye's 'Lets Get it On' mp3: $0.99 Profiting from selling hypoallergenic kittens at 50% off: Priceless
TOKYO --A Japanese mental health counselor recited pi to 100,000 decimal places from memory on Wednesday, setting what he claims to be a new world record.
Akira Haraguchi, 60, needed more than 16 hours to recite the number to 100,000 decimal places, breaking his personal best of 83,431 digits set in 1995.
A few things struck me about this:
1) Being Asian is undoubtedly a requirement to even attempt something this complex. 2) By comparison, my personal best recitation of pi is 3 digits. I can do it in 1.06 seconds, bitches! 3) I don't think "mental health counselor" is the best profession for someone who thought it was ok to spend a quarter of his life memorizing pi.
Reese Witherspoon is on her way from Legally Blonde to legally single.
