Because Red Underwear Causes Enough Attention Without Adding a Giant Schlong into the Mix
The actor who plays the new superman has a ginormous wang.
From the London Sun:
Superman Brandon Routh is giving movie chiefs a mighty headache — with his supersize LUNCHBOX. (note: Lunchbox is British slang for the male genitalia) Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover up the rookie actor’s blockbuster bulge.
An insider said last night: “It’s a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don’t want it up on the big screen. We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.” This Brandon character has got it pretty good. First, he lands the role of Superman having never acted in his life,
then the first tabloid rumor to surface about him is that he has a gigantic penis. Not bad, not bad.
Man Takes Commercialization of Christmas Too Far
Lets face it. Cranston, RI must be pretty boring. So who can really blame alleged Martha Stewart stalker Joe Morretti for trying to spice things up this holiday season with a little Paris Hilton Christmas display?
From the AP:
Blown-up images of Hilton and strings of pink Christmas lights adorn the front lawn of a home in a middle-class neighborhood of this city...Passersby get an eyeful of Hilton sporting a tiny pink top hiding little of her chest, or wearing knee-high boots and a sultry pout or holding a finger to her lips..."If it's offending anyone, I apologize," Moretti said in a telephone interview Thursday.See, I don't really see anything wrong with this. In my opinion, nothing says "Happy Birthday Jesus! Thanks for dying for our sins!!!!" quite like Paris Hilton's STD infested yet frequently accessed crotch.
Desperate Horsewives
One of two men died after they decided to have sex with a horse.
From Boston.com:
SEATTLE --A man has pleaded guilty to trespassing in connection with a fatal horse-sex case.
James Michael Tait, 54, of Enumclaw, was accused of entering a barn without the owner's permission. Tait admitted to officers that he entered a neighboring barn last July with friend Kenneth Pinyan to have sex with a horse, charging papers said. Tait was videotaping the episode when Pinyan suffered internal injuries that led to his death.I. Would. Give. ANYTHING to see this become one of Law and Order's "ripped from the headlines" episodes.
John Travolta and Nic Cage Way Ahead of Their Time
Doctors recently completed the first successful face transplant. Yea, thats what I said. FACE TRANSPLANT.
From CNN.com:
During the operation, teams of doctors grafted a triangle of tissue including a nose, lips and chin onto the face of the 38-year-old divorced mother of two teenaged daughters, who had been attacked by a labrador and whose name has not been disclosed. The dog was put down.
The donor tissue came from a woman who had been declared brain-dead, with the permission of that woman's family, doctors said.I would watch out for that donor woman's family. Anyone who gives away their daughter's face must have some kind of sick ulterior motive. Did "Face Off" teach us NOTHING???
