Ladies and Gents, you better hand in your 3rd place ribbons caus I am here to tell you that your 4th grade Science Fair project was a complete and total lie. As of today, the Solar System now consists of EIGHT planets--not nine.
Leading astronomers approved historic new planet guidelines Thursday — downsizing Earth's neighborhood from nine principal heavenly bodies to eight by demoting distant Pluto. After a tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930.So, remember when Space Exploration was cool? With the Space Race and people landing on the moon and whatnot? Well, I'm sorry but you can't just follow that up with something as boring as planetary pink slips. How much money do we shove in NASA's face every year? And this is the most newsworthy space event to come our way???
And whats more is that the new guidelines pretty much give every other piece of space matter planetary status "as long as it is round and orbits the sun."
So in other words, if an astronaut picked his nose and threw a booger out into space (and that booger happened to begin orbiting the sun) it would be considered a planet.
Stick an American Flag on that, NASA!
Apparently the image of the Virgin Mary has chosen to appear via a 2 inch blob of chocolate:
Workers at Angiano's gourmet chocolate company, Bodega Chocolates, discovered under a vat a 2-inch-tall column of chocolate drippings that they believe bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary.Since the discovery Monday, Angiano's employees have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it.I'm sorry, but why are people dumbasses? I mean, if the best "miracle" God can perform nowadays is turning melted chocolate into an abstract representation of the Virgin Mary I think we are in a
shitload of trouble. I don't think your business card is allowed to say "Almighty and Omnipotent Creator" if I could poop a better representation of the Virgin Mary.
Too Sexy for My Body
Supermodels Elle MacPherson and Heidi Klum are apparently fighting over who really gets to be crowned with the nickname "The Body." The latest Victoria's Secret ad campaign touts Heidi as the owner of said nickname, however, MacPherson's rep had this to say:
"We were initially flabbergasted. We have numerous press clippings in the office referring to [Elle MacPherson] as 'The Body.' Everything from Harper's Bazaar to Vogue to the recent Sports Illustrated calls her that. In terms of public record, that name belongs to Elle."I don't really understand why two famous supermodels are fighting over a nickname that most people associate with former WWF wrestler and Gov. of Minnesota Jesse Ventura.
And why beat around the bush with something as vague as 'The Body' when you could just go for something more direct and to the point--like "Hooter McSweetAss"
The FBI has announced that they are in dire need of computer hackers to help them fight crime.
LAS VEGAS--The FBI needs help from hackers to fight cybercrime, an agency official said Wednesday. The FBI's call for help confirms that it is not equipped to deal with cybercrime...Although the government is trying to be nimble, others might know about potential threats before federal agents do....FBI Agents using freelance computer hackers to help them solve cases???? I don't know if its gonna work in real life but 10-1 says it would make for great TV.
