Anhueser-Busch Says "No" to Beer Consumption
From the Associated Press:
ST. LOUIS --Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc. said it will quit marketing a drinking game called "Bud Pong" after discovering that some people were imbibing beer during the game instead of water, as directions specified.The nation's biggest brewer rolled out "Bud Pong" in July, sending kits to beer wholesalers in 18 states. The bar game is played by bouncing ping pong balls into cups of liquid, with participants taking a drink if they lose a point. Anheuser-Busch suggested players fill the cups with water. A New York Times article Sunday described players using beer instead.When reached for comment, a marketing representative from Anheuser-Busch had this to say: "We're not really worried about the collapse of Bud Pong in the long run as we'll be launching a similar game--Budrut-- in December." Budrut, he explained, "should be played with chamomile tea or Tang"
I Wonder Where He Got His Sources...
The Connecticut Post:
A second-grader brought more than a dozen bags of marijuana on a school field trip to a local museum for a little show-and-tell of his own, police said.The 8-year-old boy, a pupil at Dunbar School, was seen stuffing the small bags into his pockets while on the bus ride Friday to the Peabody Museum of Natural History at Yale University in New Haven, police said.At some point, police said, the boy apparently became worried that his find would be discovered and desperately began trying to stuff the plastic bag into his pocket.Police said a teacher on the bus noticed the boy struggling and attempted to help him with his package only to discover it contained the marijuana.When I was in 2nd grade, I brought Ecto Cooler Hi-C on fieldtrips, police said.
Police said, I also had better editorial skills than the idiot that wrote this article.
Athough, I suppose I should put the blame on the Editor since he let it slip, police said.
Police said, police said.
Government Worried "Gummi Bears" May be Next
UNICEF is making a "statement" by blowing up Smurfs in a new anti-war campaign. Yea, thats right. I said Smurfs.
From the Houston Chronicle:
The video is peacefully introduced by birds, butterflies and happy Smurfs playing and singing their theme song when suddenly out of the sky, bombs rain down onto their forest village, scattering Papa Smurf and the rest as their houses are set ablaze.
The bombs kill Smurfette leaving Baby Smurf orphaned and crying at the edge of a crater in the last scene of the video and finishing of with the text "don't let war destroy the children's world."In related news, President Bush announced yesterday that he would be sending US Weapons Inspectors to investigate Gargamel.
This Has Aliens Written ALL Over It
From The Boston Globe:
Radar screens at a regional aviation center in Merrimack, N.H., were showing [air traffic] controllers ''false targets," or objects that didn't exist, setting off the system's ''conflict alert" feature warning of potential collisions, FAA spokeswoman Arlene Murray said. The false readings began at about 10:30 a.m. Sunday, stopped after a while, and then resumed at 7:30 a.m. yesterday.So if a
highly advanced air traffic radar
(which is built for the sole purpose of picking up signals from highly complex aeronautical devices) is showing flying objects that AREN'T airplanes....I'm pretty sure that means that 1) those objects
DO exist and 2) they're UFOs.
Jaundice Yellow is the New Black
From Deutsche Welle:
A German beer producer, Nautilus, has announced that it is currently testing NicoShot, a beer containing 6.3 percent alcohol and three milligrams of nicotine per bottle.
"Many countries have a smoking ban in bars and restaurants," a Nautilus spokesperson said. "With our beer, you won't have to go outside for a quickie."Consumers are encouraged to place themselves on local liver transplant waiting lists immediately following first signs of addiction.
Dawson Leary-- "Utterly Heartbroken"
Reported by...oh...
everyone....caus this is totally important news:
Tom Cruise impregnated Joey Potter.
Gross.
"Type A" Python Dies of Overambition
From the Associated Press:
A 13-foot Burmese python recently burst after it apparently tried to swallow a live, six-foot alligator whole, authorities said.The snake was found with the gator's hindquarters protruding from its midsection. Mazzotti said the alligator may have clawed at the python's stomach as the snake tried to digest it.Wasilewski said a 10- or 20-foot python also could pose a risk to an unwary human, especially a child. He added, however, "I don't think this is an imminent threat..."See...I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree. If a 6ft predator at the top of the food chain can't survive a Python attack, I'm going to have to say that I wouldn't be up to the challenge either
....although my stomach-clawing skills are pretty sweet.
Say it with Me: Con-tra-cep-tives
There is part of me (the same part of me that cries during
multiple parts of
The Notebook) that feels truly sorry for these people... But then the SANE part of me kicks in in time to make me realize that these people are
IDIOTS.
From Boston.com:
Donna and Rod Thorell and their five children have waited their way through years of physical breakdowns and recoveries. Thirteen-year-old Timothy Thorell has a heart murmur, respiratory problems, relies on a feeding tube, and can't walk right now because of muscle weakness. Eight-year-old Lianna has a weak immune system, muscle pain, and asthma that requires emergency room visits and steroid treatments. Eighteen-year-old Joshua is always tired and his body has trouble regulating temperature. Sixteen-year-old Kristofer has a bleeding disorder, muscle weakness, and seizures. Three-year-old Reilly relies on IgG immunoglobulin every three weeks to boost his immune system.
Donna Thorell has persistent stroke-like episodes and diminishing energy. Only husband Rod remains healthy.Ok...first off, the man is clearly
NOT healthy if he thinks its a GOOD idea to keep getting his stroked-out wife pregnant with f-ed up kids. In fact, he is probably the LEAST healthy of the bunch.
I can understand having the first one, and hoping the 2nd one pops out healthy....but when that doesn't happen by the 3rd and 4th try, what in GOD'S NAME would make you think the fifth time would be a charm?? At that point, you should just be arrested for knowingly endangering a child's welfare.
But what do I know? Don't listen to me. Keep having sex. See what I care.
In Rare Moment, Yankees Become Whinier than Red Sox
From FOXSports.com:
According to a report in the New York Times, several Yankees were not pleased that Showalter pulled three of his best hitters from Sunday's game with the Angels in the third inning. If Los Angeles had lost that game, the best-of-five series would have opened at Yankee Stadium.
"I just think there's a code of honor when so much is on the line," Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez said. "You hope people do the right thing, but you can't control what people do. It is what it is."[Yankees] GM Brian Cashman said he had no issue with the move and placed the blame squarely on his own franchise's shoulders, saying, "If we had won one more game, we wouldn't have to be worried about what anybody else did." Ohhhhhhh
SNAP!
