As if Harry Potter author JK Rowling wasn't already the most beloved person in the world, a new species of Dinosaur has officially been named "Dracorex Hogwartsia" after the wizarding school made popular in the books.
Dracorex Hogwartsia, a member of the pachycephalosaur family, honors Rowling's use of dragons in her wildly popular children's book series. The name comes from the Latin words draco (dragon), rex (king), and hogwartsia (after the fictional Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry in "Harry Potter").
My amazement over Rowling's accomplishment is only slightly eclipsed by my own self-loathing over the fact that I never realized Draco was Latin for dragon.This is important, of course, because one of Rowling's lead villians (and Potter's pseudo arch-nemesis) is named Draco Malfoy. This calls all KINDS of theories into question--including the probable corporeal shape of Draco's patronus as well as the symbolism between Rowling's portrayal of dragons throughout the series as it relates to her development of Malfoy's character!
I know some of you are nodding enthusiastically in agreement right now and logging onto Mugglenet to read the latest theories.
The rest of you, well. You can SHUT THE HELL UP.
Haters.
Tim Burton Hires Actor Other than Johnny Depp
According to IMDB.com, Tim Burton's film "Ripley's Believe it or Not" is rumored to be starring Jim Carrey.
Carrey will be shooting Tim Burton's Believe it or Not! in November for Paramount.
Johnny Depp was at one point attached to play Ripley, but prior commitments made him unable to star.A Tim Burton film that DOESN'T star Johnny Depp? I can just hear Tim Burton's response when he heard the news:
Depp: I'm sorry Tim. I really want to do the film, but I'm contractually obligated to make Pirates of the Carribean 3.
Burton: But Johnny, I can't make the film without you. You're the star.
Depp: I know, and I'm sorry. But it can still star your wife, Helena Bonham Carter.You'll just have to hire another actor to take my place.
Burton: There are OTHER actors???????????
Apparently the people of Scottsdale, AZ are in a frenzy over a restaurant called the Pink Taco:
Nearly half a dozen people in the upscale city recently expressed their objection to the name, claiming it's a derogatory slang term for a portion of the female anatomy.Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross has said she is offended by the name and went so far as to ask the owner to change it, although he refused.I agree. This restaurant has a lot of nerve calling themselves the The Pink Taco when,
clearly, The Fish Taco would have been a far more amusing choice.
I could really care less about the movie version of the DaVinci Code, but a recent article about the movie yeilded two fantastic (but unrelated) quotes that I just had to include:
Kicking off the annual Cannes film festival, Ron Howard's adaptation of the Dan Brown bestseller was described variously as "grim," "unwieldy" and "plodding," though one reviewer bucked the trend and said "You'll Louvre It!"
Ian McKellen, an openly gay actor who plays Leigh Teabing in The Da Vinci Code, tried to make light of the controversy.
"I'm very happy to believe that Jesus was married," he said. "I know the Catholic Church has problems with gay people and I thought this would be absolute proof that Jesus was not gay."#1: That guy who gave the "You'll Louvre It!" review has won over my heart and soul with his so-awful-its-awesome review.
#2: Ian McKellen, already super cool for being Magneto and Gandolph, has reached a new level of kickass-ness for infuriating the Catholic Church by implying that a single Jesus could mean a GAY Jesus.
A woman driving in her car literally had a bullet bouce off of her, leaving her unharmed.
A 44-year-old woman escaped serious injury from a gunshot Sunday thanks to her seat belt and a thick bra strap, authorities said.Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies said a .38-caliber bullet smashed through the windshield then bounced off Robin Key's shoulder — thanks to a seat belt and a thick bra strap. The copper-jacketed slug landed in her lap.A seatbelt and BRA STRAP? This story is total bullshit. It is CLEAR that this woman is either:
1) a kryptonian superhero
2) proof that we live inside the Matrix or
3) the owner of adamnatium coated bones and a mutant gene that gives her incredible self-healing powers
I know your tricks, Robin Keys. I know your tricks.
Some born-again religious zealot tried to get the Harry Potter books banned from the schools in her county claiming God as her defense. After pretending to take her seriously, the school board did not grant her request.
"I knew what they were going to do, but it's good we live in a country where you can stand up for what you believe in," said Mallory, a former missionary. "God is alive and real and he says [witchcraft] is an abomination. How can we say it is good reading material?"
At first I didn't believe her, but then I found this passage in the Bible:
And the Lord appeared and said unto Moses, "Thou shall not read books about boy wizards"
Poop and Pooper
This week, there were two separate incidents in two seperate towns where students tried to "poison" their teachers with Ex-Lax:
Poop:A 43-year-old woman is charged with helping her daughter and two other teenage girls bake cookies laced with a laxative that were then given to a teacher.The cookies, which were baked with Ex-Lax, were left on the teacher's desk on April 10 with a note saying, "We made these cookies just for you, hope you enjoy them."Pooper:HOT SPRINGS, Ark. --Two students were charged with insult or abuse to a teacher after allegedly putting a laxative in tea that two teachers drank before the prank was uncovered.The Lakeside High School seniors are accused of tampering with the tea as a prank. Two teachers drank the tea and suffered from cramps afterward.I, for one, am pleased that the great work of the Farrelly Brothers is being recognized by children and adults alike. Nothing proves a pure dedication to comedy quite like trying to recreate the Jeff Daniels toilet scene from Dumb and Dumber.
Ashlee Simpson debuted her new nose job this weekend at some concert or something. MSN had this to say about her:
"Although she has always been cute, she's felt like the ugly duckling of the family compared to Jess."That's quite a change from last year, when Simpson, 21, told Allure that she was "so glad" she didn't get a nose job, as she'd always planned, because "I love my nose ... I think it has character."I'm glad Ashlee has finally realized that, just because she'll never hold a candle to her sister, it doesn't mean she shouldn't try. Nobody likes an ugly celebrity, Ashlee. Thats why we'll always love Jessica more than we love you--just like your parents.
Boston.com is reporting that clothing manufacturers are actually making clothes sized smaller than the actual cut-- ie: If you pick up a size 0, it is really cut to fit someone who is a size 4.
''I tried on a size 0 skirt and it was too big," said Chao, a 30-year-old graduate student of molecular biology at Harvard University.''It's frustrating to me as a petite woman when I try on a size 2 suit and it's swimming on me because it really has the measurements of a size 6," [Kelly O'Rourke] said.So, in conclusion, we're all total fatties--much fatter than we even have a grasp on. Even YOU Nicole Richie...you DISGUST me.
What with people getting trapped in mines all the time nowadays, it seems as though rescue efforts have become increasingly creative. Case in point: Two miners who have been trapped in a tiny cage within a collapsed mine since April 25th have been supplied with iPods to help them pass the time while rescuers spend the next few days trying to drill them out.
Both men "remain in good health and have now received iPods so they can listen to their favorite music," said Matthew Gill, manager of the century-old Beaconsfield Gold Mine.The miners' families had also sent notes and drawings from their children through [a] tube — "just something to keep the spirits up, just to let them know that everyone's waiting for dad to come home," said Australian Workers' Union national secretary Bill Shorten.Shorten said he believes Webb's family sent down deodorant and toothpaste, as well.I know that, if I were stuck in a mine for 10+ days, my top priority would be getting a handle on my personal hygeine as well as the latest James Blunt mp3s. Food, oxygen and the potential for impending death wouldn't be on my mind at all.
Not. At. All.
UPDATE: I've recently had it pointed out to me that it would be interesting if the miners could send stuff up the tube as well. Kind of like those air pressured tubes at the bank drive-thru. I'd send up feces just to be like "Thanks for the f-ing iPod, assholes!"
This past week brought baseball fans the first Yankees/Red Sox series of the season.
To Red Sox fans, that meant the return of Johnny Damon to Fenway Park--this time, sporting a Yankees uniform, a shave, a haircut, and a Gazillion dollar contract.
Red Sox fans across the city, as usual, did not celebrate the sport of baseball, but instead cried like whiny little bitches about how inferior they are to the Yankees. The Yankees, as usual, totally ignored the Red Sox for being completely inferior.
This is totally like that Brady Bunch episode where Jan finally gets a boyfriend but he dumps her after falling for Marsha.
