Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Scientific Discovery Killed by 11 Year Old Redneck

In case giant squid and enormous bunnies aren't impressive enough for you, I'm here to try and win you over once and for all with gigantic swine.

An 11-year-old boy used a pistol to kill a wild hog his father says weighed a staggering 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4, from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail.

"It feels really good," Jamison said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

Jamison, who killed his first deer at age 5, was hunting with father Mike Stone and two guides when he bagged Monster Pig.

Mike Stone is [mounting the head and] having sausage made from the rest of the animal. "We'll probably get 500 to 700 pounds," he said.

Lets recap:
1) 1,000 lb pig.
2) Parents who thought it was ok to give a 5 year old boy a loaded gun.
3) 700 lbs of sausage

Do I even need to write extra commentary?

Monday, May 07, 2007

Mutant Hermaphroditic Animals are the New Black

Desperately trying to beat out "pythons eating things" as my most reoccurring blog story, we've got our second "mutant animal with multiple sex organs" (MAWMSO) story of the year--which, in my opinion, is two MAWMSO stories too many.

LITCHFIELD, Neb. (AP) -- A days-old black Angus calf romps about a central Nebraska farm just like any other - only this one romps with six legs. "He's a real freak," said Brian Slocum, who said the calf was born Sunday to one of his cows. "I've never seen anything like this before."

The unnamed calf also has organs for both sexes and a surgically supplied rectum [which the calf was missing at birth].


Look, I'm all for animal rights but if you are born with 6 legs, no rectum and are of an undeterminable sex--well, you probably shouldn't be allowed to live. Just throwin' that out there.

'LOST': Three More Seasons of Confusion, Geekdome

The creators of LOST have long talked about their decision to have a known end date for the the show--a decision based on the nature of the show's ongoing mythology--which has been leading up to a pre-constructed ending since the first episode.

Now ABC and LOST producers have come to an official agreement on said end date. Always rumored to be 5 seasons, ABC has just announced that LOST, instead, will come to an end after 6 seasons--though the remaining 3 seasons will be significantly shortened to 16 episodes a piece (what amounts to two normal length seasons).

"Due to the unique nature of ‘Lost,’ we knew it would require an end date to keep the integrity and strength of the show consistent throughout and to give the audience the payoff they deserve," ABC Entertainment president Stephen McPherson said.

McPherson also added that the newly announced construction "will give fans an additional 3 seasons to wonder why the fat guy never loses any weight."