Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Homage to Entertainment Weekly

In: Checking in to Rehab
5-minutes ago: Coming Out
Out: Adopting Babies

Are you listening celebrities?

posted by Me @ 7:22 AM

Monday, February 19, 2007

Jeter and A-Rod Break Up


Baseball season has only just begun and already Alex 'A-Hole' Rodriguez is reminding Yankees fans around the world why he is such a douchebag. Rather than, oh I don't know, practice baseball during spring training, A-Rod instead chose to give an inane interview on his relationship with fellow Yankee Derek Jeter:

On the first day of his fourth season with the New York Yankees, Alex Rodriguez finally acknowledged his relationship with Derek Jeter has cooled.

"The reality is there's been a change in the relationship over 14 years and, hopefully, we can just put it behind us," Rodriguez said. "You go from sleeping over at somebody's house five days a week, and now you don't sleep over. It's just not that big of a deal."

Well, if this isn't the gayest article in the history of sports writing, I don't know what is.

posted by Me @ 4:55 PM

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Anti-Blogger's Blog Post

I refuse to blog about Anna Nicole.

posted by Me @ 12:28 PM

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Astronaut Shuns Toilets in the Name of Love


NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak has been arrested on counts of battery and attempted kidnapping.

Nowak, a married mother of three who police believe was in a love triangle with a fellow astronaut, was charged with trying to abduct a woman she saw as her romantic rival, authorities said.

Police said she drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted [the] woman...

Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers in the car so she wouldn’t have to stop to go to the bathroom...

This message has been brought to you by Depends adult diapers! Depends: Nothing says "Love" like 900 miles worth of feces.

posted by Me @ 6:02 AM

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Suspects, Locals Make Fun of Boston Law Enforcement


FINALLY, Massachusetts officials are getting some of the blame after they mistook “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” cartoon publicity devices for C-4 bombs--an error that cost the city of Boston half a million dollars in tax money.

BOSTON - Two men who authorities say placed electronic advertising devices around the city were released from jail Thursday, apparently amused with the publicity stunt that stirred fears of terrorism and shut down parts of the city.

They waved and smiled as they greeted people in court. Outside, they met reporters and television cameras and launched into a nonsensical discussion of hair styles of the 1970s. “What we really want to talk about today — it’s kind of important to some people — it’s haircuts of the 1970s.”

Fans of the show mocked authorities for what they called an overreaction.

About a dozen fans gathered outside Charlestown District Court on Thursday morning with signs saying “1-31-07 Never Forget”

Umm....These people are my heroes. <3

posted by Me @ 11:40 AM

July 21st: The Beginning of the End


Its official. The last Harry Potter novel will be released in July!

LONDON - "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," the last of seven installments of the boy wizard's adventures, will be published July 21, author J.K. Rowling said Thursday.

Rowling announced the publication date on her Web site.

Luckily, July 21st is a Saturday--which gives me all weekend to read the book....twice....and make notes in the margins....of my $35 hard cover edition....which will be kept separate from my $65 deluxe edition....which will be displayed in a glass case....in the middle of my living room.

posted by Me @ 7:34 AM